lost and safe

“Another Victim Claimed By Black Hole In Computer”

My computer has killed again.

Every blue moon, my computer will devour something and leave nary a trace. I tried to open an often used program a couple weeks ago, only to find that my computer crashed in each instance. Upon inspection of the application’s folder, I find several critical files missing. Last night, a new entry that I was writing for this here blogy-thingy managed to fall into the dark black miasma that occupies this computer’s soul. I tried my best to save it, but it ended up unfolding like a slow motion car crash: inevitably doomed. I was slightly disheartened, but it passed quickly.


It’s time for an exorcism…

The keyboard sporadically jumps. The hard drive is nearly full, therefore causing programs to crash due to lack of RAM and virtual disk space. Running batches is painfully slow. Too many programs are out of date. Too many of the latest updates for the outdated programs don’t run on my outdated operating system, Mac OS 10.3.9. The hard drive needs to be purged, cleaned and optimized. The OS needs to be upgraded [for security, compatibility, and efficiency at handling tasks]. Any disc that is inserted into the drive is spit out at least twice. Three or four when it is really pissed at me. The screen has split along the back, necessitating extra care when opening and closing [so as not to rip the screen clear off the chassis]. It refuses to go off when I tell it to, and starts when it feels like it. It has a wild spirit, but I love it none the less.


Dear Saint Nicholas,

If you could see your way to “secretly” gift me with any one of the following items, I would be most grateful:

That is all. Thank you.



Filed under: Missives, , , ,

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